Here is a list of qualities that I would prefer in a girlfriend.

1. Athletic
2. Loves All Kinds Of Music
3. Unconventional
4. Extremely Intelligent
5. Friendly
6. Easy Going
7. Interested Science Fiction
8. Determined
9. Computer Literate
10. Loves to Read
11. Video Games

I am a very gregarious person. I love meeting people, having lots of friends, going to parties, and being friendly. I don't hold grudges for very long, I will usually be mad at someone for about a week and afterwards be very nice to them. I am a strong believer in pluralism, which is the belief in diversity. Although I acknowledge other beliefs and respect them as ideas that doesn't mean I will be politically correct twenty four hours of the day. On the contrary I am the exact opposite, I loathe being politically correct. My personal opinion on politically correctness states that it makes a life that is bland. Without racially motivated jokes that poke fun at other races I don't think I could laugh as much as I would. Furthermore, it is a limit of our speech and that right is guaranteed by the first amendment. Now I'm not saying that people should yell fire in a crowded theatre, but anyone can say whatever they want. I try not to live a life of fear.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Source: Bene Gesserit in Frank Herbert's Dune

Though their are some things I fear.

1. Aggression
2. The taking away of my Civil Rights
3. The taking away of my rights as a human being
4. Safety of the people around me

I try to cherish my gifts on this world and try to live my life the way I think it should be lived and I try to not put boundaries on my actions and beliefs. I do believe that this is the only life I actually have, that there is no afterlife and I am grateful for that. I don't want to be in Heaven or Hell, I just don't want to be judged on my actions. If there is an afterlife then I might enjoy it but I know eventually I will get really bored. Let's say hypothetically that in a million years I will have experienced everything in the afterlife. I have read all there is to read and know all there is to know and I have done all there is to do. What the hell do I do next? Since I am in Heaven, I would probably go back to earth and complete the cycle again. But if I am in Hell, I would probably be tourtured enough and get really bored. Jean-Paul Sartre said "Hell is other people", and I really think Hell would probably run by men and be very similar to earth. The only difference is your either the tortured or the torturers. The tourtured get the shit end and the torturers have to live with themselves. And the whole of hell is unified under one person the Devil. The Devil is a very charasmatic individual, but ultimately has a heart of evil. Whatever the afterlife is I really don't care because I really don't want to be judged. I refuse to be judged on what I believe is right and wrong, I don't think anyone has that power over man to tell him where to go. How would one decide? Where is the cutoff point? If I am destitute but because of my poverty I was a bad person, should I be able to go to heaven?

"Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5
"About 9.8 percent (7.7 million) of the nation's families were in poverty in 2006".
Source: US Census

According to the US Census 7.7 million people will go to Heaven in America. I know I'm not going, I am way too fortunate. I just hope some way, when I die I will cease to exist.

onomatopeya[on-uh-mat-uh-pee-uh] 1. the formation of a word, as cuckoo or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent.

My reason behind liking this word is not only the sound you make while saying it but the strange spelling it has.

The darkness within me has been all encompassing. I have wanted to accept that the darkness can help. But it cannot. It can only hurt, and that hurt is deep inside of me. I cannot put into words how the darkness within effects my world. I view the world as a horrible, cold, threating place. I fear everything and even nothingness. I believe that death is just death. There is no life after. And this is the only chance I've got. My soul is beared to you. And what I've done to the world cannot be forgotten.

What Ive done is not important right now. It is how I got there, and what I had to do. I had to cheat lie and steal and destroy people. My life is filled with turmoil and what I did was and is deplorable. The darkness gave me power. I could feel it pulsing within my soul. The darkness my yin and yang not being even. My dark side being shown. My ruthlessness. My dark side. My power. My life. My world within my grasp. With the darkness I have become stronger. Stronger not only in mind but in spirit. My resolve felt stronger. I can manipulate the world with this power. Responsiblity, I have none. Thats why my power is dangerous. I really don't care in the end. In the end we are just food for the worms. Everything man has accomplished will be worm food. Nothing matters.

When I feel dark the dimmer switch on life goes on. Every emotion is diminished and withered away to nothingness. I feel nothing, I know nothing, I hate myself. Self hatred is important to the darkness. It feeds on self hatred. It constantly eats away your soul and everything within it. Piece by piece, hour by hour, day by day. It grinds on. You are it's victim and it's hatred is ultimatly towards itself. The darkness is you and you hate it because that is the only one you can hate without feeling guilt. Guilt is also it's food. Constant guilt is a buffet for the darkness inside. The cold hatred and the warm guilt are merely on the plate.

Constant doubt is it's dessert. Doubt tastes like a huge key lime pie to the darkness. It constantly is eating ever so slightly at your soul.

On June 9^th, I started my drive to Congregation Etz Chaim. Etz Chaim means "tree of life". Congregation Etz Chaim is a Jewish Temple. The Temple is a white building. There is a sign in front of the building stating the name of the Temple. It is written in small green letters with a white background. There are a lot of trees around the Congregation. This can be connected to the tree of life in the bible or just simply the beauty of having trees around a building. This made the religious site very rooted to the surroundings. At first I thought the surroundings were not taken care of. Now that I look back at how the place looked, I find that trees and foliage are a very important aspect of the Congregation. They symbolize life. The entrance to the building was a white door. The white of the surroundings could symbolize purity and faith. There were glass windows so you could look in to the synagogue.

The inside of the building had two important parts. The one to the far left was the place of worship. This included a huge brown wardrobe like structure with a chair on the left and a grand piano on the left. There is a podium in the middle. There were approximately twenty rows of seats surrounding the podium. They are arranged in a semi circular fashion. The floor is a dark blue carpet. The seats were very comfortable and resembled the seats you would find in a church. There is a huge skylight. The shape of the skylight is a huge triangle. The skylight lit the podium beautifully.

The second part of the synagogue was the gift shop. This had many different items. They sell various Hebrew items. I have never seen anything like it. They had jewelry and books, and beads. There were glass cases containing these items.

The whole site felt different than a church. No church would ever have a store inside of it. The worship area was very similar to the altar of a church. They even had the same seats. Other than that similarity a church feels different than a synagogue. But then, it did feel like a place of worship. You get this unmistakable feeling that people worship here. That is something I cannot describe in words but only in feeling.

The people that were outside waiting for the Bat Mitsvah were very friendly. One even let me have a small interview. The person I interviewed was a friend of Hanna Bale Miller. I also asked her what was most important about her religion. I got an amazing answer. She liked the family part. I asked her to explain further. She said she liked the communal part. It made her feel like she was a part of something. She liked how everyone made her feel important and loved. She was a very nice person. Unfortunately, she left without giving me her name.

The next person I interviewed was Rabbi Andrea Cosnowsky. I used Email to interview her. My first question was, "When do you hold services?" She answered, "Jewish holidays and Shabbat."My second question was, "How do you collect money for your congregation?"She answered, "Members pay dues." The third question I asked her, "What is the best part of your religion?" She answered, "A personal question - you'd get 100 different answers from each person. Personally, I like that you have a personal one on one relationship with god - no intermediaries." The forth question I asked her, "How do you view other religions such as Islam and Christianity?" She answered, "With respect and dignity." The fifth question I asked her, "How do you view your religion?" She answered, "Obviously, I became a rabbi, so I must have a positive view of it - otherwise, I couldn't' do this everyday!" The sixth question I asked her, "What made you decide to become a rabbi?" She answered, "It is a calling that I could no longer ignore." The seventh question I asked her, "Is music an important part of your life?" She answered, "Definitely - could you live without rock music?" The eighth question I asked her, "Why do some followers spell God, "G-d"?" She answered, "They don't want to mistakenly spell god's name - as if a lightning bolt will zap them.... Notice, I spelled it out..." The ninth question I asked her, "Why is there three different kinds of Judaism?" She answered, "There are actually about 5 kinds, Orthodox, reform, conservative, reconstructionist, renewal and humanist.. You can look these up."

From what I heard the service was beautiful. There were many people in the audience to see this young girl become an adult in the eyes of the Hebrew community. She stood on the Bimah. The Ner Tamid shined on her during the service. This symbolizes the "perpetual faith of the Jewish people". A Bat Mitzvah is relatively new with the first one happening in 1922. This came from the focus on women's rights in that same period. They call this a Bat Mitzvah or a Daughter of the Commandments. Hannah read from the book of numbers. The ceremony was a traditional Shabbat service. Hannah read portions of the service with the rabbis. The prayer books I saw were written in Hebrew with English translations. The prayer books were numbered right to left. The portions that were reading for the congregation were italicized. The congregation was asked to stand when the Ark was opened. The Ark is where the torah was kept. It is a sacred document so it needed to be kept in a special spot. The important part of the Torah reading is when Hannah carried the torah around the sanctuary and the members of the congregation used their prayer books or Tallit as a sign of love and devotion. Hannah's extended family participated in a ceremony called Aliyah. This included Sue and Harvey Bass, Shelly and ben Miller, Carol and Mike Kvasnik, Liz and Tom Mack, Sari and Rached Kvasnik and Emily and Sam Mack. After the Rabbi's read the torah Hannah read a Haftorah from the Torah. Two people then lifted the Torah, the peroson who lifted the torah was the Hagbah and the person who dressed the torah was the Galiah. The Galilah was Lisa Margulis. The Hagbah was Perry Margulis. They lifted the Torah to show it was an open book belonging to the Jewish People. The people who read the Psalm were Beth Bengtson and Sheli Schultesz, Harold and Paul Miller, and Ann Rasmussen and Mary Sorensen. The people that opened the Ark were Becca Heisler and Drew Margulis. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay from the service. This paragraph was paraphrased from the pamphlet I got from the Synagogue.

In conclusion, I learned much about Hebrew Culture during my visit to congregation Etz Chaim. I also had an enlightening interview with Rabbi Andrea Cosnowsky. This was a very enlightening view on Hebrew culture. I learned everything there is to know about a Bat Mitzvah. This was a huge undertaking for such a young lady. I wonder how this has changed her life and views on society in her later years. How will this make her a better person? Will this be something she shares with her children? How will she look back on this day?